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I Can Tolerate Anything Except The OutgroupContent warning Politics, religion, social justice, spoilers for The Secret of Father Brown. This isnt especially original to me and I dont claim anything more than to be explaining and rewording things I have heard from a bunch of other people. Unapologetically America centric because Im not informed enough to make it otherwise. Try to keep this off Reddit and other similar sorts of things. I. In Chestertons The Secret of Father Brown, a beloved nobleman who murdered his good for nothing brother in a duel thirty years ago returns to his hometown wracked by guilt. All the townspeople want to forgive him immediately, and they mock the titular priest for only being willing to give a measured forgiveness conditional on penance and self reflection. They lecture the priest on the virtues of charity and compassion. Later, it comes out that the beloved nobleman did not in fact kill his good for nothing brother. The good for nothing brother killed the beloved nobleman and stole his identity. Now the townspeople want to see him lynched or burned alive, and it is only the priest who consistently offers a measured forgiveness conditional on penance and self reflection. The priest tells them It seems to me that you only pardon the sins that you dont really think sinful. You only forgive criminals when they commit what you dont regard as crimes, but rather as conventions. Panasonic Kx T7531 Manuale. You forgive a conventional duel just as you forgive a conventional divorce. You forgive because there isnt anything to be forgiven. He further notes that this is why the townspeople can self righteously consider themselves more compassionate and forgiving than he is. Actual forgiveness, the kind the priest needs to cultivate to forgive evildoers, is really really hard. The fake forgiveness the townspeople use to forgive the people they like is really easy, so they get to boast not only of their forgiving nature, but of how much nicer they are than those mean old priests who find forgiveness difficult and want penance along with it. After some thought I agree with Chestertons point. There are a lot of people who say I forgive you when they mean No harm done, and a lot of people who say That was unforgiveable when they mean That was genuinely really bad. Whether or not forgiveness is right is a complicated topic I do not want to get in here. But since forgiveness is generally considered a virtue, and one that many want credit for having, I think its fair to say you only earn the right to call yourself forgiving if you forgive things that genuinely hurt you. To borrow Chestertons example, if you think divorce is a ok, then you dont get to forgive people their divorces, you merely ignore them. Someone who thinks divorce is abhorrent can forgive divorce. You can forgive theft, or murder, or tax evasion, or something you find abhorrent. I mean, from a utilitarian point of view, you are still doing the correct action of not giving people grief because theyre a divorcee. You can have all the Utility Points you want. All Im saying is that if you forgive something you dont care about, you dont earn any Virtue Points. Utility Points as an impoverished pensioner who donates the same amount, but the latter gets a lot more Virtue PointsTolerance is also considered a virtue, but it suffers the same sort of dimished expectations forgiveness does. The Emperor summons before him Bodhidharma and asks Master, I have been tolerant of innumerable gays, lesbians, bisexuals, asexuals, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, transgender people, and Jews. How many Virtue Points have I earned for my meritorious deedsBodhidharma answers None at all. The Emperor, somewhat put out, demands to know why. Bodhidharma asks Well, what do you think of gay peopleThe Emperor answers What do you think I am, some kind of homophobic bigot Of course I have nothing against gay peopleAnd Bodhidharma answers Thus do you gain no merit by tolerating themII. If I had to define tolerance it would be something like respect and kindness toward members of an outgroup. And today we have an almost unprecedented situation. We have a lot of people like the Emperor boasting of being able to tolerate everyone from every outgroup they can imagine, loving the outgroup, writing long paeans to how great the outgroup is, staying up at night fretting that somebody else might not like the outgroup enough. This is really surprising. Its a total reversal of everything we know about human psychology up to this point. No one did any genetic engineering. No one passed out weird glowing pills in the public schools. And yet suddenly we get an entire group of people who conspicuously promote and defend their outgroups, the outer the better. What is going on here Lets start by asking what exactly an outgroup is. Theres a very boring sense in which, assuming the Emperors straight, gays are part of his outgroup ie a group that he is not a member of. But if the Emperor has curly hair, are straight haired people part of his outgroupIf the Emperors name starts with the letter A, are people whose names start with the letter B part of his outgroup Nah. I would differentiate between multiple different meanings of outgroup, where one is a group you are not a part of and the other issomething stronger. I want to avoid a very easy trap, which is saying that outgroups are about how different you are, or how hostile you are. I dont think thats quite right. Compare the Nazis to the German Jews and to the Japanese. The Nazis were very similar to the German Jews they looked the same, spoke the same language, came from a similar culture. The Nazis were totally different from the Japanese different race, different language, vast cultural gap. But the Nazis and Japanese mostly got along pretty well. Heck, the Nazis were actually moderately positively disposed to the Chinese, even when they were technically at war. Meanwhile, the conflict between the Nazis and the German Jews some of whom didnt even realize they were anything other than German until they checked their grandparents birth certificate is the stuff of history and nightmares. Any theory of outgroupishness that naively assumes the Nazis natural outgroup is Japanese or Chinese people will be totally inadequate. And this isnt a weird exception. Freud spoke of the narcissism of small differences, saying that it is precisely communities with adjoining territories, and related to each other in other ways as well, who are engaged in constant feuds and ridiculing each other. Nazis and German Jews. Northern Irish Protestants and Northern Irish Catholics. Hutus and Tutsis. South African whites and South African blacks. Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs. Anyone in the former Yugoslavia and anyone else in the former Yugoslavia. So what makes an outgroup Proximity plus small differences. If you want to know who someone in former Yugoslavia hates, dont look at the Indonesians or the Zulus or the Tibetans or anyone else distant and exotic. Find the Yugoslavian ethnicity that lives closely intermingled with them and is most conspicuously similar to them, and chances are youll find the one who they have eight hundred years of seething hatred toward. What makes an unexpected in group The answer with Germans and Japanese is obvious a strategic alliance. In fact, the World Wars forged a lot of unexpected temporary pseudo friendships.